I love to laugh. But I don’t do it enough.
I love to relax. But I don’t do it enough.
I love to do new things. But I don’t do them enough.
I love to meet new people. But I don’t do it enough.
I love to be silly. But I don’t do it enough.
I love to dance – well, no, I don’t really – but I’d love to be better at it.
I love to be totally spontaneous. But I don’t do it enough.
I love to be carefree and not care what anyone thinks about me. But that frightens me, so I don’t do it enough!
Responsibility is a weird thing. You see, I used to do all these things a lot more than I do now (minus the dancing part). And while some of that may be good – a lot of it is pretty not-so-good.
I used to get labeled as the guy who never took anything serious. I was good at being the center of attention in a room. I could always be counted on to liven up a room or a crowd. I would act first and think later. Deep down, however, it would always bother me that people thought I didn’t have a serious side.
But now, sometimes it almost seems opposite. As I’ve had more responsibility put on my plate, I’ve “given in” to the idea that responsible means serious, and not-so-serious, well, that must mean irresponsibility.
If I’m going to be a good dad, then my kids need to be memorizing 10 scriptures a day and explain salvation to me by the time they’re 7. They need to act responsible for their age – because hey, that’s my job, right? Maybe – Maybe not… Because I wanna be this dad….
If I’m going to be a good pastor then I need to be able to explain everything in light of scripture and have a good knowledge on why we do the things we do. I need to be theologically correct on the way I live my life… I need to be serious, because that’s my job, right? Maybe – maybe not... Because I like this picture of Jesus
If I’m going to be a good husband, I need to provide and protect. I need to be respected so our family will be respected. I need to be a pillar. I need to be seen as – GULP – responsible… Because that’s my job, right? Maybe – maybe not... Because hideous hats and sweaters are fun!
Now – these things aren’t necessarily wrong – in fact, completely ignoring them could lead me down a dangerous path… but I wonder sometimes if I’ve moved from one extreme to the other. It happens all the time – someone who was a wild-child “sees the light” and now becomes totally opposite, obeying every rule they can find, and if they don’t find enough rules, they make some up – and then impose those rules on everyone around them. Or, the opposite – someone who was a rule-keeper “sees the light” (or just gets sick of rules) and now breaks every rule possible, pushes everything as far as they can, and now belittles or makes fun of people who would dare even have the scent of a rule in their life. In my opinion – they we both miss it.
My daughter called me out the other day….
We were listening to the radio and Brody (my 4 year old) starts singing the chorus of a song… “Fix my eye eye eyes, my eye eye eyes, on You ou ou, ou ou ou ou” (you have to know the song for that wording to make any sense) – anyway, it’s a fun catchy song that is easy to sing along with… so what did I do? I tried to break down the lyrics of the song and explain to Brody what it means and what he was singing…. did I mention he’s 4! He’s in Pre-K… and I was explaining the theology of a song to him… Lexi said, “Dad, why don’t you just let him sing it?” And I thought for a second and realized – she’s 100% right! There are times when my kids (and me, and you) just need to enjoy the moment and have fun – even if we don’t understand the theology behind the moment.
Because maybe there’s not a theology behind the moment – Maybe we just need to let our hair down and have fun sometimes!
Even now – I’m tempted to put a scripture in here to support this – and maybe there’s nothing inherently wrong with that… but sometimes we just need to live life, experience life, and understand that “moments” are important. In fact, life is made up of “moments.” I’m reading a book (How Full Is Your Bucket) that states we have up to 20,000 individual moments every day… I’m crazy enough to believe that some of those moments should just be fun. Just to be fun, or spontaneous, or silly – just for the sake of being those things… no strings or agenda attached. Because here’s the deal – and I guess the point I’m trying to make – Is it more important for Brody to remember the point and theology behind the song or for him to realize his daddy got cray-cray in the car singing at the top of his lungs with him – and just had fun! I would say the latter… and I bet he would too…
May God continue to be your treasure (Matthew 13:44-46)